Gratitude Makes Life Easier Even During Tough Times

Years ago, during a stressful shift at the hospital where I worked, the charge nurse encouraged her staff with the following: “When you are up to your knees in alligators, it is hard to remember how well you are draining the swamp.” As a caregiver during the last year of my husband’s life, I developed the habit of examining my mistakes, identifying what was lacking, inadequate, and painful. Our palliative care social worker recommended a book by M.J.Ryan: The Power of Gratitude. 

According to Ryan, “Gratitude helps us notice what is right in our lives.” She shared that our brains are designed to track success when we notice it. The author offers the example of a baby learning to walk. She stands and, boom, she falls. Her balance was not correct. She does not blame the floor, or her foot, or her shoes. She keeps trying, discarding what doesn’t work without obsessing and incorporating what does work. Fall, fall, fall, fall, walk, fall, fall, walk, walk, walk. 

When we are overworked, overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, we fail to appreciate what we are doing well. And not only that, it makes it difficult to access the resources that could improve our lives and, by extension, the lives of those we care for. 

While I knew from my years of nursing that this was probably true, implementing it was difficult. I started small. Before getting out of bed, I promised myself that I would think of something I could be grateful for. I also knew that lying in bed until I could think of something to be thankful for might mean I would be there a long time. And sure enough, there were days when I was unable to come up with anything. But instead of blaming and shaming myself, I made a practice of writing down things I could offer thanks for on a small notepad for rapid reference. 

I continue to start my days with a thought of gratitude. Gratitude makes my life worthwhile and helps me move forward when times are tough. 

Ryan, M. J. (2004) The Power of Gratitude: Discover the Joy of a Thankful Life, Conari Press.