Grieving the Loss Week 139: What We Grieve

People assume that when we look sad, forget to return phone calls, or don’t show up at social events, that we are grieving the loss of the person we loved. 

The truth is that we grieve:

The voice that we will not hear again

The way they made us feel safe

The inside jokes only we understood

The empty chair at the dining room table

The advice they gave when we didn’t know what to do

The routines we shared without thinking

The challenges that caused us to rethink our opinions

The holidays that will never be the same

Their hugs, their scent, their presence

The version of ourselves when they were here. 

We may not have the words or the energy to tell them, but our grief is so much more than something we lost, like car keys or a wallet. While important, these losses do not cause grief. Or perhaps we lack the energy to tell them that our grief is so much more than the loss of a person. It contains within itself the loss of all that made life meaningful. And it demands that we change and adjust to a whole new way of being. 

It's been 5 years and I still feel this way at times. Stock photo: MSWord