End of the Journey Week 135: The Challenge of Growing Old

For those of us who are in our senior years or are facing the end of life due to illness, the last stage of life offers a choice: Integrity vs. Despair. We need to be meaningful in the lives of those we love and care for, even as our capabilities are diminished. We are no longer able to climb a ladder to change the battery in the smoke detector or stand on a step stool to reach the upper shelves in our kitchen cabinets. And, often, the need for assistance increases until we become totally dependent on others for even the basic needs of life. 

Despair comes when a person thinks their life is worthless. This is especially difficult for the person who believes their value depends on what they produce. Integrity comes as we realize that we have grown in understanding, learned from our mistakes, and successfully navigated challenges. We have served as teachers and role models for the generations behind us by demonstrating the values of a moral life. This is your legacy, your presence that will go on in the lives of those you have touched. 

Devon learned to carve a Thanksgiving turkey under Lee’s tutelage. 

This is based on the work of Erik Erikson, a German-born American psychologist,  who developed a view of personality growth as a process that continues throughout life. He identifies stages of personal growth that occur as the person faces different age-related emotional and social challenges. Each of the eight stages of life presents a task for the person.  An infant must learn about trust; a toddler must learn that they are an individual who can make choices; a preschool child develops a moral code (right vs. wrong); and elementary school children learn how to participate in a group. Adolescence brings the challenge of role definition; young adults face issues of intimacy and life roles, while maturing adults face the challenge of continuing development even as life resources diminish. Seniors address whether their lives have value.